The Ministry of Secrets

Zombies.

radiantlibrary — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:19:19 +0000

The unquiet dead. They have risen from the grave in search of warm human flesh. They transmit their disease via blood-to-blood or saliva-to-blood contact. They commonly shamble and are uncoordinated. Unfortunately, recent mutations in the ZIV-4 complex have enabled muscular tissue and neural response to increase function, despite necrosis. The idea that zombies move slowly is, increasingly, a deadly preconception.

Techniques for dealing with zombies are well-established. The Ministry of Secrets discontinued its Revenant Research Unit in 1983, partially as a result of the events documented in this filmstrip. Zombies are not considered to be a high-priority issue at this time; however, be aware that a mass infection scenario would be extremely grave and survivable only with extremely heavy losses.

Dealing With Homo Sapiens Sanguisugens.

radiantlibrary — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:08:53 +0000

It is entirely likely that field agents will encounter these pesky blighters at some point during their careers. Despite valiant efforts, the infestation has never been quite wiped out from Britain; also, new variants migrate from the Continent and parts farther afield regularly.

Concerned souls may be relieved to be informed that Conrad is still safely archived in the Library Stacks.

Resisting Mind Control.

radiantlibrary — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:43:45 +0000

The Ministry’s former Head of Mesmerism delivers some sage advice in this educational clip from 1954. The clip is old; however, the techniques are as relevant as ever. Mind control is increasingly prevalent in the international espionage community these days. It is believed by the Ministry that China alone has more than one thousand adepts of the hypnotic arts.

Mind control is easily countered. Observe.

Hello Worlds!

radiantlibrary — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:44:54 +0000

The Ministry of Secrets would like to cordially invite all of its employees to investigate its new secret intranet site. Here, the Ministry will convey information that will be crucial to the survival of our field agents. Remember, the fate of our agents is the fate of the human race.

The Ministry exists to defend the United Kingdom (and, if necessary, the planet) against threats paranormal, extraterrestrial and supernatural.

God Save the Queen.